To the People on My Recent Flight

I think we've all been on an airplane with that infant...the one who screams most of the trip, randomly wanders up and down the aisle, grabs the back of your chair throughout the flight. Yeah, it's no fun. But have you considered the poor parent(s)? Do you honestly think they want their child to be screaming and carrying on? It's not like they're getting any more rest than you are.

Just 24 hours before the flight...so happy.

These were the thoughts spinning through my mind during my recent flight. It was my first time flying alone with two kids. In the past, traveling with Princess wasn't too big of a deal. She was/is a great traveler. In the past there were a few incidents...she threw her pacifier on the floor and a kind soul found it for her or the well-meaning pilot that gave her a highlighter and she scribbled on me (and the traytable) but all in all, she was not the screaming, miserable baby you hate to have sit next to you.
But Big Boy has a completely different personality. He also hasn't traveled as much as his sister so everything is new and exciting or in his case, terrifying. As we approached the gate, Princess walking along with her own small suitcase, me loaded down with purse, overnight bag, and a kid in a carrier, I could almost hear people's thoughts: "I hope she's not on my flight." I assume this because many people wouldn't make eye contact with me but when I sat down and glanced up, they quickly looked away. When I asked if I could board early to get settled with the kids, the gate attendant said, "Absolutely. I'm sure it takes you awhile". Actually, it does take awhile. Thanks.
My merry band was completely happy until we approached the runway and began takeoff. While Princess looked out the window and laughed with glee, Big Boy gripped my shoulders and screamed in terror. He glanced out the window then quickly hid his face in my shoulder, continuing to scream. The turbulence we experienced crossing over the mountains didn't help my situation.
He finally drifted off only to wake up after 20 minutes when beverage service began. Walking the aisle was the only thing that kept him quiet but you can't do that for the whole four hour flight. As soon as I sat down, he would fidget, call out, grab chairbacks, scream, and in general be noisy. He didn't sleep again, although his eyes were red from exhaustion. Our entire descent and taxi to the gate, he screamed. Like nothing-can-console-me screams.
When we landed several people made comments like "Not happy, huh?" "He looks pretty sleepy to me" "Hope he stops screaming so you can sleep". They offered knowing smiles as I apologized for my very vocal child. Others ignored my apologies completely as we filed off the plane, not giving me a glance.
Believe me, I didn't want Big Boy to cry and carry on during the flight. I was doing everything I could to get him to sleep and calm down. But sometimes babies aren't predictable. And some babies don't do as well at traveling than others.
And before you throw stones or looks of annoyance my way, let me tell you what the previous week had looked like: Big Boy had gotten several vaccinations, developed a fever the day before we flew (which broke that morning), had been up (with me) most of the night, not gotten a nap before flying, and hadn't eaten according to his regular routine. No, it was not ideal flying conditions but you can't really plan what's going to happen when you book the flight three months beforehand.
Am I angry? No. Before I had kids I was one of those people hoping I didn't have a seat by a howling infant. In our self-driven, self-centered culture, it's easy to view all activities through the lens of how things will affect me, without taking into consideration what's going on with the people around us. But instead of ignoring that mom traveling with her kids or not offering to help how we can, let's pray for her. While I whispered the words of "Jesus Loves Me" in Big Boy's ears, I prayed God would give me strength to not join my son in crying. I prayed his anxiety would be calmed and I would be a witness to someone, even if it was just through my response in this situation. We never know what others are/have recently gone through and sometimes just a polite smile instead of an eyeroll, an offer to help instead of ignoring, can go a long way to reassure someone that she is not hated because her child is not a good traveler.
And if you think about it, say a prayer for us tomorrow morning. We're climbing onto a plane again, just me and the kiddos. And maybe pray for the person sitting next to us too. :)