Raise your hand if you are a Mom who has ever been frustrated by your child(ren). If you are a Mom who didn't raise your hand, I don't know if I should ask you for your secret or scold you for lying. I think we can all admit we have reached a breaking point at some time. Your child doesn't obey, makes a ridiculous decision, doesn't listen to you, runs through the house screaming, won't eat, won't sleep...what's a Mom to do?!
I will readily admit I don't have all the answers. I've been a Mom for 11 months, a relatively short time. But in those few 11 months, I've cried, I've wondered how I'll make it another day (or through that day), I've been grouchy, and I've wished I could just sleep until it's all better. Let me share some of the things I've learned/observed and I pray these will be encouraging for you too.
1. Children are not an enemy. Your children are not out to get you. When they are babies, they are still discovering this world. As they get older they respond to what they are exposed to. If they hear people yelling all the time, they will think this is normal and they will yell. I have witnessed this in grocery stores where parents yell at their kids even when the kids are behaving and what's the response? The children shout back which causes the adult to become more angry and yell more. The Bible says that children are a reward, that we should be happy to have them (Ps. 127:3-5).
2. Children aren't perfect...and neither are we. Since Adam and Eve disobeyed in the Garden of Eden, only one person has been born sinless, Jesus Christ. That means your children are sinners and interestingly, so are you! Even after you accept Jesus as your Savior, you aren't sinless; you will struggle. I love my daughter and she is a very good baby most of the time. But she isn't perfect. Recently, Little Girl started crying when she was on the floor, she wanted down when I picked her up, she cried when I put her down and wrapped around my legs, she kicked and flailed her arms when I held her. I was at my wits end with how to help her and I thought, "I can't do this. I can't be a mother. She won't stop." I was allowing my selfish vision of a picture-perfect life to change how I viewed my responsibility to be a Mom and to change how I viewed my daughter. She isn't an accessory to take out and be cute. She's a gift from God, she's a blessing, and she's a sinful person who needs to be taught about God. And it's my (and Tommy's) responsibility to do that. When I think of Little Girl the way God must think of me, my outlook changes.
3. Jesus treasured children. In Luke 18:15-17 Jesus gave us a wonderful example of how to treat children. The disciples thought the children were not important enough for Jesus' time but Jesus said, "Let the little children come." He viewed children as just as worthy of His time and effort as any man. I don't think any of us would say our time or plans are more important than what Jesus was doing during His earthly ministry, but when we brush aside our kids or view what we want to do over their needs, we are selfishly acting out that we are more important than our child. I know sometimes we have obligations and responsibilities that children might make difficult to do, but I don't find any time in the Bible when we are told to ignore the needs of others because we have important things to do.
4. It should be a joy to teach our children. When I observe some parents with their children or overhear some of the comments people make about parenting, it makes me wonder why they wanted kids in the first place. For attention? To decorate a room, to buy the cute clothes, to get comments from strangers about the adorable baby? Those are all wrong motives for being parents (surprise!). Our goal should be to bring up children to serve the Lord, to glorify Him, to raise up the next generation for Him. It's quite the responsibility when you think about it. Everyone says children are the only things that don't come with instruction manuals but I beg to differ. The Bible is the best parenting guide that could ever be written! Granted, it won't tell you when to start feeding solids to an infant or how to stop a child from sucking his thumb but it does give instructions for the "big questions" and guidelines for life in general. And who better to tell us what we need than the God who created us and our children (Ps. 139:13-14)?
5. God is with us. What could be more comforting when we feel most alone in our struggles than remembering that the Lord of the universe knows what's going on? I remember the first weeks after Little Girl was born being at the end of my rope physically which made me emotionally unstable. She wasn't sleeping, she wasn't nursing, the house was messy, I didn't feel like cooking. I felt like a failure and I honestly wondered if I would be able to do this "Mom" thing. Then I opened my Bible. Should have done that earlier. :) I found verses that had actually been comforting during my miscarriage the year before but they renewed me again. Psalm 55:16-17, 22: As for me, I will call upon God: and the LORD shall save me. Evening, and morning, and at noon, will I pray, and cry aloud: and he shall hear my voice. Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.
Here are some references to look up when you're having "one of those days." :)
Col. 3:1-4; Eph. 4:29-30, 32, 5:18-20; II Cor. 12: 9-10; I John 4:7-8; James 1:19, 4:6-8,10, 5:13; Phil. 4:7-9, 13, 19
No comments:
Post a Comment